Like everyone, I was told that life was about going to school, having a good job, earning money, having a family, etc. Since everyone has to die one day, it did not seem meaningful to invest my time and energy into pursuing these things. I am not against going to school or having a family, but I did not see the purpose of investing in things that I eventually will lose the day I leave this earth. I've always questioned, why do I live? I told myself, I shouldn't pursue material things because it's a dead circle. Like slaves to money and material things, many people work hard, earn their paycheck, and spend it on materials they lust. The cycle continues; their lives are driven by lust. I also told myself, I should not spend my life pursuing power and fame, for they also will disappear someday. Instead, I planned to have some good friends and a nice family, and I want to spend my life on enjoying relationships.
I was born in China, and I had been living there for eighteen years. In the summer of 2003, I found out abruptly that I was immigrating to the United States, without my mother. Immigrating to the US was very hard for me. I had to become accustomed to American culture and language as fast as possible. In addition, I felt like I lost my purpose in living, and fell into desperation. After separating from my mother, I realized that life is fragile. In losing my family members and all my friends, I experienced the feeling of helplessness and loneliness; without a purpose for living, my life seemed like a short tragedy. It was the most difficult time of my life; separating from my family, studying and working hard for my living and suffering from loneliness.
The darkness was over when God brought light into my life. One day, a young man knocked at my door and asked me to cast a ballot. I told him I could not vote because I was not a citizen yet. He handed me a flyer, and then he left. I looked at the flyer and noticed that the particular organization was hiring more people to hand out flyers, so I decided to take a shot at it. Fortunately, I got the job, and was able to work with the young man who had knocked on my door. Even during the first week that we worked together, we had good conversations. Eventually, he asked me if I was interested in going to his church, and I decided to go. God had his miraculous plan for me. When I attended worship and bible study more frequently, I started to really experience the truthfulness of Christianity. In the fellowship, I felt the love among the people; they had joy, peace and hope. That was the life I had been looking for, and I found it. On 4/12/04, I was baptized, I finally found something I could rely on and be joyful with, God's love.
Life is hard and meaningless if you don't have a purpose or have the wrong purpose for living, but I won't be desperate any more because I know the happy ending of my life that God promises. I was released from all the misery and pains of my life when I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. God is good, and he loves you. He has prepared a free precious gift for everyone on earth, but many people reject it. Christians have experienced the goodness of God, so they are crazy about sharing the gospel. It's like you telling your friend there is a very nice restaurant you've tried last week, except God's love is much greater than a nice restaurant. It's the same intent when Christians share with you the goodness of God. I hope my experience could touch your heart and your mind so that you could take some time to think about your purpose in living. You can come to our church when you are available, and I hope you could take some time to explore the truthfulness of Christianity. More importantly, I hope you can experience the truthful loving God and discover your purpose in life on you own.
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